My Blessings
About thirty years ago my son became a Christian, and then shortly afterward I did, too. I have a message for those people who are waiting until they are ready to give themselves to God.
I was brought up in a fire and brimstone church. I was afraid of God. To me He was a big monster who was going to send me to Hell, no matter what I did. I use to think if I could make a list of do's and don’ts, I could win my way to Heaven. Oh, then I would hit my brother, and I had to get saved again.
The preacher was a good man, I know, but it was my childish understanding that made me afraid. I went to the altar when I was 12, but I did this only because my friends did it. I even got baptized, but I did not know the meaning of what I was doing. I participated in an old fashioned "foot washing”. I learned how to shout. We children had a "rock altar" and every Sunday night, we took a stone, put it on the pile. I had no idea what this was for, but I knew I wanted to get back to the church before that “Holy Spirit" (ghost) came. I hated going to church. Every time the preacher said "Someone here needs to come to this altar." I remembered the terrible things I did that day like talking back to my mama. My sister and I would run to the altar and get saved again.
I found out very early just how easy it is to live for the devil when you do not have God inside of you. The flesh is always in a battle with the Spirit, as most people know. But when you do not have the power of the Spirit to fight this battle, you can get yourself in deep quicksand. There is pleasure in sin for awhile. The devil shows you a beautiful picture of the world and what it has to offer.
The Holy Spirit can show you that you WILL go to Hell if you don't give your life and soul to Jesus. There are people who have no problem knowing there is a Heaven, but they don't believe there is a Hell. There is a Hell and a fire that will never stop burning. Can you imagine in your mind how horrible that can be? Everyone has been burned in some way - a finger on the stove, a hand on the iron, but there is no measuring the kind of pain you would experience if you go to Hell.
One day when my son was about 14 yrs. old, he came in from school, went straight to the restroom. When he returned, he said "Mama, do you remember when you told me how to be saved?" "Well, it has happened." I wasn't living right, so I felt very awkward. A few nights later, I was in a place I shouldn't have been. The Spirit came to me and plainly said “If you die tonight, you WILL go to Hell." I got home as soon as I could get there. I got on my knees and I begged God to forgive me. Now, I know what salvation is all about. God gave me His grace and mercy.
I still do things that are not acceptable, but God does not take me out of His Book of Life. He does not have a big pencil adding and erasing my name everyday.
Even though, I had been in church all my life, I was not saved. Mama tried to teach us what was right, but I just couldn't get it. When you feel the Holy Spirit tugging at your heart, please do not suppress it. I could have waited and if I had died that night, yes, I would have gone to Hell.
I was raising my son alone, but when God found me, He took over our life. We stayed in the Word, prayed earnestly, and asked forgiveness when we did wrong. God loves me and I know it way down deep in my heart.
I felt that there may be someone who needs to hear my testimony.